


Live To Tell

by bichita_36e



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Adult Language, Consensual Infidelity, Consensual Kink, F/F, F/M, Female-Female Oral, Female-Female Sex, Infidelity, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Male-Female Oral, Male-Female Sex, Past Relationship(s), Therapy, There will be SPICY SMUT, inappropriate relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:22:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25657360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bichita_36e/pseuds/bichita_36e
Summary: ADULT LANGUAGE, PAST TRAUMADr. Diane Lewis and Jack Gibson have a session where Jack discloses the event of 3x15, when he and Maya Bishop didwhat they did. Dr. Lewis has quite a bit to say about that, and some other disclosures The Station 19 Lieutanantmakes.
Relationships: Andy Herrera & Robert Sullivan, Andy Herrera/Robert Sullivan, Emmett Dixon/Travis Montgomery, Inara/Jack Gibson, Maya Bishop/Carina De Luca, Victoria Hughes & Lucas Ripley, Victoria Hughes/Lucas Ripley
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KyHasNoLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyHasNoLife/gifts), [Alynnroe89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alynnroe89/gifts), [CSW1420](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CSW1420/gifts), [julrenda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/julrenda/gifts), [dwalk1_2002](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwalk1_2002/gifts), [lila_luscious1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lila_luscious1/gifts), [LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley/gifts), [Bacner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bacner/gifts), [Patty_Parker60](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patty_Parker60/gifts), [beckysue_bonner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckysue_bonner/gifts), [LK23](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LK23/gifts), [Cristyonendun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cristyonendun/gifts).



Once both Dr. Diane Lewis are comfortable, with hot drinks in their hands (a cold rain, with a 10 kph wind behind is is the signals an early autumn.

"What's goin' on, Jack? You look rested: no noticeable side-effects from the Zoloft© ?

"I can't call it...I'm sleeping through the night?"

The therapist sips tea, nodding. "Good. Nightmares, anxiety?"

"Not since the Zoloft©", Jack answers.

"You were exploring possibilities of moving on with Inara when we spoke last."

"She's open to it; so am I..."

"Except...?"

"I did it again! I screwed Maya Bishop ten days ago: _at the station_

"She's seeing that OB from Grey's, I thought..."

"Yeah, yeah...I can's stop screwing or WANTING TO SCREW women who are already involved with someone...what the fuck is wrong with  
me, Doc?"

"Let's drill into that...even though these 'encounters' I hesitate to call them relationships with unavailable women are frustrating and  
unsatisfying, we have yet to to understand WHY in the clinical field, I mean. We suspect that profound insecurities and self-esteem issues  
are at the root...that you invest so much in pursuing unavailable partners because of an unconscious motive: If the unavailable woman finally  
comes around and commits, you’ll—at long last—have proof that you are WORTHY-ISN'T IT TRUE THAT YOU DON'T CONSIDER YOURSELF WORTHY  
OF LOVE, OF FAMILY? Everywhere you were placed, you thought that no one wanted you, no one cared-that sooner or later they'll figure out that  
you didn't fit in and they'd get rid of you. That changed with your family at the 19, didn't it. And you may have. purposely-though unconsciously-may  
have tried to prove to your firefighter family that you aren't worthy."

"I...I guess", Jack mumbles.

"Without such proof, their-YOUR- self worth is left hanging in the wind. You feel that you've invested so much and waited so and waited so long  
for the unavailable partner to 'come around' that the thought of leaving without any payoff is almost unthinkable. It's why you kept fucking Eva  
Vasquez after you knew that she was married to a firefighter in your own station."

"WHAT'S THE 'CURE'? HOW DO I BREAK THE CYCLE!?" , Jack cries. The Dr. can plainly see that he's disturbed by his actions and earnest about how  
to change his behavior.

"If you're willing to do the work to explore your behavior, motivations, and needs, you could find yourself happier with Inara, who's actually  
worth it!

"That would be good...REALLY GOOD."

xxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5

"I can't say that this tryst with Gibson is all his fault, Bishop. You were a willing participant if I understand correctly."

"Yes...but I was...fucking FED-UP with Carina's carping about my Dad"...

"The man who 'grabbed you by your ponytail like a goddamn psycho loser' on the Pac North site'...who turned you into a machine, programmed to win, no matter what  
the cost?"

Maya whispers "I didn't even realize that he'd driven Mason out of the house and into homelessness. What AM I?!!

"You're a traumatized woman who was a traumatized teen and young woman. HOW you came to realize that is less important than that realization.  
It's natural to resist the unknown, to rage against it even-a defense mechanism. I have several techniques to address that."

"THANK YOU. "I'll need them: I-I did something to ruin my relationship with a woman I really love." When Dr.Lewis raises an eyebrow, Maya adds  
"NOT someone at the station. She's a Dr. at Grey's...I uh...I cheated."

"Not good...but OK."

"I fucked up the best relationship I've ever had...and I kinda did it on purpose."

"We'll get into WHY next session."

-VOICEMAIL TO CARINA DELUCA'S MOBILE PHONE (FROM MAYA BISHOP)-

_So...Hi Carina...I'm probably the LAST person in the world you were expecting to hear from, and I completely get WHY. What I did_  
_was so inexcusable, and I won't try to justify my behavior, because there is no excuse. I have made some realizations about me,_  
_please believe that despite my actions I LOVE YOU...I do still want for us to be a couple; I want that so that much, I really I do, hope_  
_that there's a way and I hope to fix this-just tell me what to do and I'll do it, no matter what. You probably won't respond, which_  
_I get that. I just ask that you listen and be open to open to hearing me out: when you're ready, of course. I love you and I miss you._  
_PLEASE don't let us be over. Bye_

xxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5 xxxx5


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya really misses her girlfriend Carina. The aftermath of the "jack" incident  
> is still raw and very fresh. and Carina sleeps and takes her meals elsewhere  
> (probably at Andrew's)...Carian asked for, and Maya granted her three months with  
> no contact: as hard as that request was to grant, she waited until Carina contacted her first  
> first (by text) to say 'Hi'..  
> (6 montha, and two week time jump)

(6 months, and two weeks later)

(A few texts each week were exchanged, and Maya reported that she is attending sessions with Diane Lewis. On this day,her first attempt to  
to reach DeLuca DeLuca wasn't successful, though the voice mail she leaves IS returned that night: 💃🏻🎈!!

_Hi, Babe...it's me again...I'm struggling a little bit, ummm...Dr. Lewis are doing a deep dive into some of my anger, and compulsive urges, and_   
_lashing out. She confronts me on my bullshit, and I resisted at first, but I see now that not facing the truth is not healthy. I can finally admit to_   
_you now that I practically dared Jack to fuck me, and then I went home to you knowing that you'd either ask me where I was, or smell him on me...I_   
_picked that fight to get back at you for confronting me about my Dad; I didn't want to face it and so I did what I always do, or used to do, and_   
_found a way to make YOU the bad guy, instead of laying the blame where it belonged. I don't even blame JACK; he's weak and I knew that he_   
_couldn't resist sex when it's available; I'm sorry about that; I AM better than that-I'll BE better. And I'll do the work-that is a promise._

_I miss you so much. I've never missed anyone like this. I didn't know how to deal with being in love for the first time, and I kinda panicked._  
_Dr. Diane and I are making real progress. I hope that it will be enough to make a difference. I love you; 'bye_."

Right as she finishes dinner, Carina called back: "Bella, I am so sorry for before; we lost Victoria Hughes-Ripley's baby's heartbeat, and then the  
medication given to Andrea-my brother, Andrea, NOT not Andrea Herrera-caused some sort of reaction; anyhow, Victoria is fine, and Andrea is  
now under the care of the psychiatric chair at Grey's, so that is good... _whew_!: that was a lot and I'm sorry, but I have not eaten and  
I'm SOOO..sono coni stanca-so tired!

So happy to hear from her estranged girlfriend, Maya says "You are already so thin; please be sure and eat: HEY! I could go to that place...  
.uhhh...el, no..ilmego..."

Carina can't help laughing. "Il Meglio D' Italia, more! You are so cute, but I appreciate the effort-that was a good try!"

"I'm happy to bring you the #12...we could eat together..."

To her surprise, Carina agrees. "That will be good...but HURRY! I'm going to find a **baby** to eat soon!"


End file.
